Nothing's Too Hard. . .

The most difficult pattern that I think would be hard to change, in a relationship, is the pattern of submissive symmetry. Submissive symmetry occurs when neither person, in the relationship, wants to make a decision.

This behavior is difficult to change because when we allow ourselves to chronically leave decision making to someone else, we are down playing our responsibility as an individual. The constant avoidance of the decision making process will soon become a psychological barrier.

It becomes a psychological barrier because we have unwittingly trained our brains to think we are not capable of making a decision. This will soon lead to self-doubt. And once we begin to doubt ourselves we will begin to travel down the dreadful road of low-self esteem.

However, low-self esteem will not only affect those in the relationship. It will damage all those who directly or indirectly deal with anyone who suffers from its "blow."

On another note, I believe that competitive symmetry can be the most damaging to a relationship. Competitive symmetry is when the individuals in a relationship are constantly seeking to "out do" the other. This atmosphere may work well on the field, but it can wrec havoc a home.

Competitive behavior in the home can lead to bickering, derogative comments, arguments, and tension, to say the least. It's absolutely awful! I believe this behavior shows lack of self-confidence from both parties in the relationship.

The Bible says, "In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise. The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of wisdom." (Proverb 10:19,21)

Furthermore, the Bible also says, "For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith." (Romans 12:3)

Although our relationships or problems in life seem too big for us, they are never too big for our God to solve. "Cast your burden on the LORD, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved." (Psalm 55:22)